The Hate Filled Heart

Her day had finally come. She had pictured her wedding ever since she could remember. She would dream about it when she watched Saturday morning cartoons and the commercials with perfect Ken and Barbie.

Barbie had a Malibu Beach house, a corvette, and a million different careers. When Lacey hit adulthood it had brought many things into perspective. “I may not have all that stuff Barbie had, but at least I have a vagina.” Her mother would cringe if she could hear how her daughter was thinking on her wedding day. “I’m not going to let something like thoughts of mother mess up this day.”

She had never had a good relationship with her mother… and since her mother had died in a car accident Lacey had never felt so free.

It was all as she had dreamt; the bright sun pouring through the stained glass windows projecting beautiful red and blue patterns on the floor. She had even planned her bridesmaid dresses with the glass colors in mind. All eyes we on her as she waded through a sea of grinning old men and their sobbing wives. At the end of the carpet stood David, he looked so gorgeous in his double breasted tuxedo. This was the day that she had dre –

THUD!

‘Dammit’ Lacey thought as she heard her roommate stumble into the apartment. “Can’t anyone have an uninterrupted dream once and a while?” lacey moaned. No one had heard her, if they did they just didn’t care.

THUD!

“What the hell?” Lacey whispered. She finally heard noises from her uninvited guests.

“Shhh.. you’ll wake her!”

‘Great she had brought Shannon back with her tonight.’ Lacey thought that Shannon was the reason her roommate was a deviant. What her dad would have called ‘a bad influence’.

“Did anyone see us?”

“How the hell should I know?”

The sounds became a little muffled once the pair of bar maids entered Sheila’s room. Lacey thought that maybe could get back to sleep fairly easy. There were a few more bumps and thuds, but it was manageable.

Sheila was a good girl, well, used to be a good girl. She had perfect grades in high school, played clarinet in the marching band, donated blood, she was the apple of her daddy’s eye. Until college and she started her major in drama and she started hanging out with Shannon. She started trying alcohol and smoking, later on she would try other things but not to her liking as much as alcohol. With all the experiments is when Sheila’s personality started to change. Her and Lacey had been buddies in high school, but after the Shannon switch was thrown, she didn’t want to have anything to do with Lacey until it was time for the rent.

Da-THUD!

“shh… dammit be quiet! Help me get my stuff.”

Lacey was going to have to get up and say something. She could barely see anything in the room. It didn’t help that she still had sleep in her eyes. The only light in the room crept from under her closed door from the lamp in the living room. It reminded her of how the fridge door looks when it was barely left open. She used to love late night snacks from the fridge, unless her mom caught her.

Lacey thought about her dream and how her mother had already been pronounced deader than dead. Why did she get such pleasure in such a thought while she dreamt, but felt guilty when she was awake? Perhaps it was like the rest of the dream, none of it was true. In fact, she had to meet her mom in…”Two hours? Christ they are home later than normal.” Lacey could still hear mumbles coming from the other ro-

“I DON’T KNOW!” Shannon belted.

“I told you to shut up! Do you want to end up like that bitch we killed tonight?”

Lacey froze ---

A million thoughts ran through her mind, but was still overpowered by one: “I…I didn’t hear that right..” the other room was quiet. What were they doing? Were they waiting to see if she was awake? And heard everything they had said?

SSSSSSS

A harsh sound broke the silence, it sounded like a box being dragged across the floor. They had been in the apartment for seven months, but Sheila still had most of her belongings in boxes. A box moving across a hardwood floor made more noise than the two of them talking, but apparently only human voice can be loud enough to wake a person. At least that seemed to be what the drunkards had thought.

Lacey slowly got out of bed; she moved close to the wall that separated her room from Shelia’s .

SSSSSSS….The sound started again.

“Do you think anyone saw?”
“No, how could they? We didn’t come straight home, I mean….we…we took enough twists and turns even the Devil couldn’t follow us home.

RIIIIIING

“Oh shit,” Shannon said.

Lacey was wondering who would be calling at 4:30 in the morning. Probably one of the many pigs Sheila gave her number to. At one time Lacey told her sister that there had been more men in Sheila than men that had been in war.

RIIIIIING

“Turn the light off, “ Sheila said in a muffled whisper.

RIIIIIING

Lacey hurried back to her bed to fain sleep, just in case they decided to check in on her.

“Quick, unplug it!”

The phone didn’t ring again…no noise. They were waiting to see if Lacey had moved, no doubt. Finally the whispers resumed.

“Hey…get that box outta the closet.”

“K”

“Hurry up too, we need to get outta here before she wakes up.”

Lacey was relieved to hear that… she hated to see what her friend had become. But…had she heard them correctly? ‘ that bitch we killed tonight?’

Maybe they got into a bar fight and kicked the waitresses ass. Sheila had a thing for drama, especially when it came to drinking and men.

She slowly got out of bed again. She was careful not to step on any ‘dreaded floor creek’ land mines. It was a trait that she had learned at an early age when she wanted to sneak out of her room as a child. Nine O’clock was just too early for bedtime, but her mom was too strict to let her stay up and watch T.V. That is when Nick-at-Nite started and she loved the old re-runs of Mr. Ed. Her mom had let Hanna watch, and her sister was three years younger than her.

SLAM… Lacey froze and so did the girls in the living room. What were they doing in there? It sounded like the broom next to the kitchen was knocked over. The silence didn’t last long this time.

“You dumb bitch, just go in there are shake her awake! If she finds out it was her mother I killed tonight she’s gonna go ape shit and call the police or try to kill me.”

What? What did she say?...Lacey didn’t understand…how could it even be true?

“You sure it was her?”
“yeah…yeah it was her, did you see the necklace? I have only seen one person with something that hideous.”

Oh God. What was she hearing? Shelia knew about the necklace that Hanna had got her mom over ten years ago. If Lacey had bought it, it would have sat at the bottom of a drawer if she was lucky. But seeing it came from Hanna, her mom wore it everywhere. She knew her mom hated Lacey, so Hanna was always on the lookout for her older sis. Usually it was the other way around in a normal family. Hanna had found the turquoise necklace at a road side flea market and bought it on the spot.

Hanna had told her sister that it was a mood necklace and that if it was teal in color then their mom was in a bitchy mood. Lacey laughed knowing that the color would never deviate from the rich aqua blue.

But, dead? Her mom can’t be dead. She just woke up from a dream where that was a very vivid reality. Thoughts raced through her head like a busy subway terminal. She thought this day would be very much welcomed, but it wasn’t so. Maybe her mom wasn’t dead, it was all a mistake. Shannon was proving to be a mind reader:

“Maybe she wasn’t dead, maybe just hurt really bad. Huh? Ya think? ….Sheila? Hey I’m tal-

“Shut it, I’m pretty sure she was dead. If not…well just the way her legs were twisted into the other seat like that… God I hope she was dead.”

‘I’m still dreaming’ lacey thought. She could smell the patchouli incense that Sheila would burn when she smoked her bong. You couldn’t smell things in your dreams…could you?

“Where will you go?”

“Dunno, just grab that bag and let’s go.”

Ten seconds later and the subway train pulled out of ‘scattered thoughts’ terminal. All was quiet again…Sheila was gone. Lacey didn’t move for what seemed an eternity. She was afraid that she would come back. She didn’t know what would happen if she saw her roommate face to face. She took a chance and opened the door.

Light flooded her retinas. It was only the hallway light, but it might as well had been the explosion from an H-bomb. Looks like Sheila had been in a hurry. Lacey saw a pair of panties and a single sock in the hallway. The living room lamp was still on…”The police!” the sound of her own voice startled her.

She looked down at the old red table, they only had one phone and thought this was the cutest table for it. Sheila used to be so different. Pleasant.

Lacey saw the phone and new she needed to call the cops, she knew it was the best thing to do. She needed to get Sheila off the road, even though the feelings of her mom being gone were cresting faster than a roller coaster. She used to tell her sister how she wanted their mom to go away and never come back. She liked Hanna’s company, she always seem to want Lacey around. She reached down to plug the cord back into the phone jack.

ClickRIIIIIIIIIIING!!

The phone screamed at her.

“Damn, that’s loud!” Whoever was calling was trying to call again, or they never stopped trying, and Lacey knew why. She grabbed the handset, it was cold in her hand. ‘Was mom already cold?’ What a morbid thought. Morbid or not, she couldn’t help realized she felt much more relief at the thought.

“H-Hello?”

“Lace? Thank God!”

“Hanny? What’s going on?”

“Hey Lace, you gotta be strong for me ok? Can you do that?”

“Is it mom?” Lacey wondered if her sister had hung up the phone.

“How…did you know that?” Hanna finally spoke.

“Sheila killed her Hanny, it was her!”

“Sheila? How do you know it was her?”

“She came home with her friend, apparently they were drunk…AGAIN, and they hit mom, Han, they saw her necklace and everything! She doesn’t know that I know, I just over heard them talking. I was too worried about what to say or what to do if I confronted her… I know…I’m… I’m a chicken shit, but-

“Hey it’s ok, lock up the place and just take a deep breath, I’m heading over now. I will call the police about Sheila, dad is already downtown because of the accident. You just keep your head on straight!”

“But I was going –

“Lock up and get in the shower. It will help you relax. I’ll be there soon.”

“K…hurry ok?”

“Ok.”

“And Hanna? …I …I never-

“I know hun, just do what I say please?”

“K…I love you.”

“Love you too, see ya soon.”

She heard the click of her sister hanging up, she held onto the phone in a daze, this night had twisted her head too fast. None of this seemed real.

She was well into her shower before she realized she hadn’t locked the front door. At this point she didn’t care… let Sheila come back. She had done her a favor... didn’t she? She had hated her mom…she was fairly certain of it.

“Lace?” Hanna opened the bathroom door.

“Shit Hanna, you scared the piss outta me!” she turned the shower off so that they could talk easier.

“Sorry, hun, you know you didn’t lock the door?”

“yeah I forgot.” She could barely see her sister from all the steam. Shower steam always made Lacey think of London Fog. She had never been to London, she just remembered seeing the label on one of her dad’s coats. So, as a child she always thought London was covered in perpetual fog, one you would find Sherlock Holmes hunting for Professor Moriarty.

“I’m actually glad. In the rush I left your key back at my place.”

“I thought I would have been out of the shower by now, I just…it just doesn’t seem real does it?” She stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel.

“No Hun, it doesn’t. Here drink some hot tea, it should calm you.”

“Hot tea? Hell I was in there long enough for you to make hot tea?”

“Well, no. I made it when I was waiting for you to answer your phone. Put it in dad’s old thermos, I knew you would need it. Remember when I made you tea after Brian Taggard stood you up for prom?”

Lacey laughed, “yeah…yeah I do. You’ve always been there for me Han, how’s dad doing?”

“Fine I guess. He was called down to the station, when I called to tell them about Sheila he said he would meet me here. I thought we could all go get breakfast. Dad probably won’t feel like eating.”

“No, probably not. She was going to meet me for breakfast to go over her part in the wedding. Why the hell was she out so late anyway?”

“The police called dad about one thirty, but you are happy right?”

“What? How could you-

“Oh come on Lace, you hated her, she hated you… you told me that all the time. I felt so bad for you.” Hanna stepped closer to her sister to help dry her off as she finished her tea.

“Well yeah, but I didn’t want her to die…I mean, not like this.” Lacey’s head danced at all the information she was trying to process.

“But isn’t it great? It was Sheila that did it…you hated her too!” Hanna kissed the back of Lacey’s neck.

She moved and turned to face Hanna,”What..the hell are you doing?”

“You said you hated her-

“Not that…what the hell was that?”

“Nothing Hun, I just wanted to get you something you really wanted as a wedding gift.” Hanna stepped closer to her sister and touched her stomach and ran her hand up her soft skin to her neck.

“Stop it! What are you talking about?” Lacey slapped her sister’s hand down as she backed up again.

“Your present Hun.” She stepped close to her sister again.

“Get back Hanna! What’s your deal? Are you fucking SICK? I’m your sister!” Lacey was backing toward the door.

“Oh babe we never told you because we didn’t want you to worry.”

“Worry?”

“Yeah Sweetie, mom and dad couldn’t have kids…so they adopted…you. Then I guess by the grace of God they had me three years later. Apparently they could have children, just really difficult for them. Dad seemed to think once you came along there was no stress to try and get pregnant and BAM! Here I am.”

“What? That doe-

“Really it’s better this way!” Hanna put her tea on the sink.

“What?”

“This way we don’t have to hide it.”

“Hide WHAT?”

“Our love babe, why else would I kill my own mom for you?”

The steam was too much…the night was too much…the heat…Lacey stumbled back and tore the towel rack from the wall as she fell. Hanna lunged forward to try to catch her.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Lace, it’s ok, Sheila was supposed to die too, but her being behind bars is just as good, right?

“What are you talking about?” Lacey felt sick to her stomach. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Mom…Sheila…they’re gone. See, I thought about what to get you for your wedding present and I finally figured out what you would truly want.”

“Huh?” Lacey was having a panic attack…at least she thought she was. She had always heard the symptoms were dizziness and shortness of breath. Hanna was running her hand through her wet hair.

“Shh, relax. It was easy. You had always said you hated Sheila and how she came home drunk all the time…driving drunk…smoking pot. So I watched her and I figured out her route home. You know, Lace, a drunk will always take the same route home? The timing was difficult, I knew she liked to leave Loco Gringo at twelve thirty, cause the cops usually waited till one to start their DUI checkpoints.

“I called mom to meet me at South Street and Forest Lake, I told her I had caught David cheating on you and she jumped at the chance of tearing down your dream. I just had to do it for ya Lace! Don’t you like it?”

Lacey tried to talk. She couldn’t. Her tongue felt like an oversized cotton ball.

“Oh I bet you can’t talk at this point, not with the amount I put in your tea.”

Lacey lost control of her bladder. She covered the bathroom floor in a warm amber blanket.

“Oh Hun, I didn’t really mean to scare the piss outta ya.” Hanna smiled as she kneeled closer. “I wanted so bad for you to be happy for your wedding…but then I realized I wanted you for myself. And if I couldn’t have you…why should he?”

‘Oh, GOD PLEASE!’ Lacey’s mind screamed. She could smell the urine mix with the over abundance of Dove soap. ‘PLEASE GOD! Let it be a dream…please let it be possible to smell in your dreams!’

“I wanted us to be together forever…that’s why I’ll finish my tea here soon. That way we can lay with each other forever.”

Lacey’s breath was shallow. This can’t be her sister…who she thought was her sister, Her lungs were losing strength.

“Lace, I love you so much, when your heart was filled with hate…I had to do something about it to make room for me. You have always been in my heart, and will for eternity.” Hanna leaned over and Lacey Williams had one final thought in her short life…

‘… her lips are so soft…’